Discussing problems in a marriage: How ?

When you and your spouse discuss a problem, do you seem to end up further apart than when you started the conversation? If so , you can improve the situation. First though , there are a few things you should know about the different communication styles of men and women.

  1. Women usually prefer to talk out a problem before hearing a solution. In fact , sometimes talking is the solution. – So a women would expect her husband to listen first and show signs of understanding.
  2. Men tend to think in terms of solutions – That is understandable because fixing things makes a man feel useful. Offering solutions is his way of showing his wife that she can rely on him for help. So husbands are baffled when their solutions are not readily accepted.

But understanding must precede advice, you have to let your partner know that you fully understand and empathize with the dilemma before you suggest a solution. Oftentimes your spouse is not asking you to come up with a solution at all  – just to be a good listener. Below are a few tips that can work wonders :

  1. Husbands , practice empathetic listening. Let your wife express herself without interrupting. Next time you discuss a problem with your wife resist the urge to give unsolicited advice, make eye contact, focus on what she is saying, nod in agreement, repeat the gist of what she says to show that you get the point.
  2. Wives , say what you need. If your husband prematurely offers solutions, do not conclude that he is being insensitive, likely he is trying to lighten your load.
  3. We tend to treat others the way we want to be treated, however to discuss problems effectively you need to consider how your spouse would like to be treated.

Hope this article found you well.

Good health to you



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