Category Archives: Relationships

Discussing problems in a marriage: How ?

When you and your spouse discuss a problem, do you seem to end up further apart than when you started the conversation? If so , you can improve the situation. First though , there are a few things you should know about the different communication styles of men and women.

  1. Women usually prefer to talk out a problem before hearing a solution. In fact , sometimes talking is the solution. – So a women would expect her husband to listen first and show signs of understanding.
  2. Men tend to think in terms of solutions – That is understandable because fixing things makes a man feel useful. Offering solutions is his way of showing his wife that she can rely on him for help. So husbands are baffled when their solutions are not readily accepted.

But understanding must precede advice, you have to let your partner know that you fully understand and empathize with the dilemma before you suggest a solution. Oftentimes your spouse is not asking you to come up with a solution at all  – just to be a good listener. Below are a few tips that can work wonders :

  1. Husbands , practice empathetic listening. Let your wife express herself without interrupting. Next time you discuss a problem with your wife resist the urge to give unsolicited advice, make eye contact, focus on what she is saying, nod in agreement, repeat the gist of what she says to show that you get the point.
  2. Wives , say what you need. If your husband prematurely offers solutions, do not conclude that he is being insensitive, likely he is trying to lighten your load.
  3. We tend to treat others the way we want to be treated, however to discuss problems effectively you need to consider how your spouse would like to be treated.

Hope this article found you well.

Good health to you

Fidelity

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Expressions of appreciation: How vital are they in a marriage ?

Expressions of appreciation are vital to a successful marriage.  Many husbands and wives , however stop noticing their partner’s good traits, much less expressing appreciation for them. In the book Emotional Infidelity, one counselor observes that many couples who see him are much more concerned with what is not happening in their marriage than with what is. So how can expressions of appreciation help in a marriage?

  1. It can offset marital stress – When a husband and wife make an effort to notice and acknowledge each other’s good qualities , their relationship typically improves. Even severe tension can be alleviated when spouses feel appreciated by each other. In contrast when a spouse feels taken for granted , it can threaten the very integrity of a marriage, because when you don’t feel appreciated by your spouse , it’s easy to be drawn to someone who does make you feel appreciated.

Here are a few tips couples can use:

  1. Be observant – Try to notice positive traits that your spouse displays, watch for things that he or she does to keep your household running smoothly, things that until now you have taken for granted. So make it a goal to notice and be grateful for all the efforts  – both large and small – that your spouse makes for the benefit of your family.
  2. Give praise generously – Express appreciation for the things done by your spouse, it will make him or her to work harder to be a better husband or wife and to increase the effort he or she put into the marriage.

Husbands and wives who express appreciation for each other strengthen their relationships and their relationships would be saved because when problems arise , they would be less inclined to end the marriage, because they have constantly been reminded of what a good thing they have.

Hopefully you will find this article helpful in your personal life and marriage. Don’t miss out on my next articles on relationships and more.

Good health to you

Fidelity

Homosexuality : What doe the Bible say ?

Gay marriage is still under debate in many countries. In the United States , however , in 2015 the Supreme Court declared gay marriage to be legal nation wide.

Does the Bible condemns homosexuality acts ?

Does the Bible promotes homophobia ? [ a hatred of or prejudice toward homosexuals]

The Bible says : ” Men who practice homosexuality will not inherit God’s kingdom”.[1 Corinthians 6 :9,10] The same applies to women.

The Bible teaches that sex should be engaged in only by a male and a female who are married to each other – Genesis 1 : 27 ,28 ; Proverbs 5 :18 , 19

Although the Bible condemns homosexual acts , it does not encourage prejudice , hate crimes, or any other kind of mistreatment of homosexuals – Romans 12 : 18

What’s your take on this subject?

Your views and comments are highly welcome.

Good health to you

Fidelity